Sunday, May 8, 2016

Dude, don't steal my truck,

People might know me as a bit of a gear head, I like trucks and various odd and irrelevant vehicles, essentially the more politically incorrect they are, the more I like them. I looked long and hard for a suitable rig to go to my daughters wedding, it's in BC at a rodeo ground ) (big wedding, 300 plus Ukrainians) and the best accommodation is, of course a trailer. I have arranged for my best friend and best cousin to camp in the same spot as me. All I was missing was a camper.

So I bought one from a guy named Elwin in Delia, good dude, jailhouse tats on his knuckles, my kind of guy. The rig was a fifth wheel pulled by a cherry 96 Chevy 1500 truck.  Nice truck 350 V8, short box, very pretty,  green truck.

To make a long story short:  I parked the truck in the driveway, tossed the 200 spare keys in the console and promptly unlocked the truck with the power door locks, I thought I had locked them, unaccustomed as I am to such modern conveniences, then, sometime between showing the truck to the better half at 23:00 Saturday and us getting home from church at 11:00  Sunday,  some douche bag stole the truck.  Total crime of opportunity and a first for me,  I have had vehicles broken into, but stolen never. Needless to say I was pissed right off.

These are desperate times in Alberta, thieves are walking around good neighborhoods looking for things to steal and my truck was apparently one of them.  Now if some person was desperate and the truck was the difference between life and death I probably would have given it to him, but to lose it to some punk ass kid for a joy ride is neither fair nor reasonable. While it is probably an over reaction to call for the death penalty, I can't help but hope that Karma does her best to amend the situation for me.

Because of the power of attraction, there is good coming out of all  of this:

After I lost the truck to the douche bag, I scoured Kijijji for something to replace it, and what should I find but the sister to my favourite truck of all time: a 1996 GMC 2500 turbo diesel, one owner, low  mileage, two wheel drive that the seller said he could have sold forty times over if it were a four by four.

I bought it, because I liked the guy selling it,  and like him, I figure if I need a four by four to go someplace I don't want to go there.

The better half entered the picture and used her ample womanly wiles to convince the guy to:
1) knock $50.00 off the price
2) have him dug up two pails of some kind of vine she likes.

I, of course, would have been happy with just the truck, she, however wanted the vines, for which I later had to dig holes and plant as a "bonus".

The seller was as helpless as I am.

So, bottom line,: yes it's bad to steal and Karma is a bitch, but I honestly hope those tiny dicked little bastards who stole my truck, do not die a painful death. I hope instead they understand that they gave me a bit of genuine happiness with my new diesel with the standard transmission and gave Cheryl  some kind of flowering mystery vine that will grace her deck for years to come.

You can't hate the hater, or the thief because there is just no margin in it. I am happy with my new truck. Cheryl is happy with her vines and the awesome holes I dug for them,  so it's all good.

Basically, I hope your meth addiction does not kill you, I hope you understand that both Cheryl and I are better for your bull shit crime of opportuntity.

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